On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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