Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
