i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
