Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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