i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize