I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's blow job season.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
