I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
