i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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