I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
look no pants
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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