Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
