pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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