please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
