I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
