the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
