Where did you get a picture of my penis
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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