I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
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MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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