Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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