I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
