I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
