I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
