dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
