office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize