I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
