I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
