I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
