Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
