This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize