I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
