oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize