If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
