what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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