I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize