please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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