What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
