You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
