WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
