You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
