Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just want to make out with him forever
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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