we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
