I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
