everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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