Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
