VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
