she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
