dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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