Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Drake has all the answers
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