when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
