It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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