Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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