you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
