it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
