Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
