We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
