i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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