At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
