I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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