STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
