I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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