If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
this is an emotional support booty call
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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