Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
