I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
