I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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