Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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