i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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