she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
