is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
