Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize