Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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