just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
