I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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