Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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