still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
