I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
