I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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