And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize