if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize