You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
